Havana Rumba

4115 Oechsli Ave
Louisville, KY 40207
(502) 897-1959

The following is an urgent message from John William: People of Louisville, STOP going to this place! My experience was not good. At all. Egads, it was awful. Yuck. Blergh. Am I making myself clear?

After getting a recommendation to come here from several friends, I decided to check it out. I love Cuban food. I eat it with some frequency and I know what I like. This place should be a home run, right? Ah ah ah. Not so fast. I came with a party of five. Even though we were no closer to free, we were still making it work (which is just as well, because Neve Campbell & Scott Wolf were not working anything. But Lacey Chabert grew up to be HOT! Wow. Wait. What am I talking about? Oh yeah). Six people. There were no available tables, so we sidled up to the bar to get a drink. Fresh off my great experience at N, I ordered a Cuba Libre. I received a "Lime" Coke. As in, add adjective "Cherry" or "Diet." The only thing libre'd from this drink was my friend's cash (thanks, Julie!).

Unamused from this gaffe, we took our seats at our now-ready table. I tried to keep an open mind, but that effort was quashed when our party of 6 was seated at a 4 top. Breathe in, breathe out. To 'rectify' the situation, the staff brought out two foldable lawn chairs. I started to laugh because, surely, they were joking. They were not. Breathe in, breathe out. A waitress sauntered up to the table an-.. Whoops. Not our waitress. "[Your waiter] is having a hectic night, so I am going to take your drink order." Lady, who's NOT having a hectic night around here? She offered to take our drink orders but our sodas-at-liquor-prices libations were full. Everyone's, that is, except my friend, Tracy. She ordered a margarita.

After another 20 minutes, our waiter finally shows up without Tracy's margarita and opens with this nugget: "What do you want?" Ha! Jokes abound at Havana Rumba. You get a show with your dinner. I see. That explains the prices. We order our food (and Tracy re-orders her margarita) and resume our conversation. After a long while, our food shows up (without Tracy's margarita) and, after redistributing our plates ourselves, everyone digs in. I ordered the lechon meal. The same meal at 90 Miles costs $9.95. It comes with three sides and it's delicious. This meal cost $12.95. It came with two sides and it was inedible. I'm guessing that this poor pig lived on a diet of Chek cola, chaw & black jelly beans as it lived a life of crime on the run. It was gray, tasteless and full of fat. Literally, half of my meat was fat. After I trimmed the fat, not only was there not much left but it was bland and seasonless. Tracy, who was still without her margarita, thought I was bellyaching without cause and tried some of my pork. Her response, "I meant to tell you to order the chicken."

Our waiter showed up (the second time of the evening we saw him; he didn't deliver our food, make sure the orders were right or check up on us) and asked how everything was. I told him. He shrugged. Again, Havana Rumba provides jokes. Maybe it can open for Dane Cook. A more disappointing and overpriced meal, I have not had in a while. Is there a Cuban version of the Chupacabra? If so, this might be the place! Be gone, Havana Rumba!!