Pops For Champagne

601 N State St
Chicago, IL 60611
(312) 266-7677

Oh, HAY-ELL NAW! This place here...oohhh.

Okay, why did I come to this place for it's soft opening, only to be packed in like a sardine, pushed, glowered at and spilled on twice - by the waitress?! She was attempting to pour some champagne - evidently, mastering holding a bottle by it's very large base was too much for her to handle - and she poured on me. She apologized ("OMG! I'm, like, soooo sorry.") and I decided to let her go about her business. Then she does it again!

Obviously, this chick didn't realize that I had been watching Thundercats all day and I knew the incantation to summon the ancient forces of crazy to transform my overworked & underpaid form into John-Ra, the ever bitchy!

Freshly transformed, I let her know I had had enough of her, of the crowd, of Pops and of sparkling wine. Meanwhile, Practical Girl (asking herself why she associates with me) is frantically looking for an exit to save herself from the embarrassment of the scene. Exhausted from transforming into John-Ra the ever-bitchy (hey, it takes a lot of energy; it's why my boy, Mumm, would retreat to the sarcophagus), I slumped to the couch - and promptly had my foot stepped on by a 45+ Trixie *running* to talk to some man who seemed to have a large disposable income. I left.

Because I am just.that.bright, I came back on a later date. The place was still uncomfortably packed and loud. Seriously, it's champagne and sparkling wine! Why the "If-you-take-that-last-Cabbage-Patch-Doll-I-Will-Cut-You" crowd? I don't get it. It was so crowded, I decided to avoid the oncoming transformation and make my way back north - for the benefit of humanity. And to think - you said I wasn't a people person.