Mirai

2020 W. Division Street
Chicago, IL 60622
(773) 862-8500

Uh-UH!! No way! You thought you'd get away with it, didn't you? You thought I'd forget, didn't you? Nope. You and I have unfinished business, Mirai.

The first time I came here, I was really impressed by the food and low-key service. My friends and I had a great dinner here, followed by some fun drinks at a couple of the neighboring lounges. Great.

Then I came back.

What is it with me and Chicago sushi places? Have they all conspired against me to subject me to shoddy service and questionable food? I need to get to the bottom of this. My friends and I had reservations for a late dinner - 9 pm. We thought making a later reservation would allow us to have easier access to tables, etc. We arrive on time and the hostess informs us that the table isn't ready and that we can wait upstairs. Fine. Thus began the Seinfeld episode.

The upstairs back was jammed packed. There was no where to move, sit, grab a drink, drink a drink, pee, blink, what have you. Five minutes passed, then ten, then twenty....Seeing that I was slowly turning into the Incredible Hulk, my friends tracked down the upstairs host/manager and asked about the wait time. He said, "a couple of minutes." AT 10:45, we were seated. Yes, we should have left. Yes, I should have burned the place down and danced on its smoldering embers. But I was tired and weakened from my hungered state. I wasn't in full form.

We finally get a table and I am starving. The host/manager 'apologizes' for the wait and gives us a piece of edamame to share. Between 5 people. If I had strength, I would have poked him in the Adam's Apple. The wispy waiter comes to take our order. After perusing the menu, I ask him what comes with mayo. I hate mayo. It's disgusting. The idea of putting globby white fat on raw fish turns my stomach. How is this appetizing? It's akin to putting melted swiss cheese on raw fish...and we all know how that story ends. I ask wispy waiter three times about the food choice. Besides myself, another one of my friends hates mayo. We don't want to eat it. We certainly don't want to pay big prices for eating it.

[Sidebar: Santino from Project Runway was there that night and his tendrils of long, greasy hair were alive with power (Newports!) and choking everyone around him. And he had Grinch teeth.]

The food finally comes. And as the last plate is placed in front of us, wispy waiter says "Some of these have mayo in them. Enjoy." With my last bit of strength and with RAW EMOTION, I grabbed on to his shirt before he scampered away. "What did you say?" "What?" "Did you just say there's mayo in this food?" "Yeah." "Man, I asked you THREE times if what we ordered had mayo and, if so, to tell us and we would order something else." "You did?"

I blacked out.

As I came to, the cops had busted in and I was throttling the waiter. Okay, maybe not.

Weakened by hunger and disgust, I implored my friends to get the manager/host. I explain the situation over and over. He begrudgingly apologizes. He says that he'll give us free dessert and comp us 40% of the bill. At this point, I'm, like, "Whatever. At least my friends will get a break." As hungry as I was, I refused to eat. I had my rage to keep me fed. Then the manager comes back and claims that we'd "already gotten a break with the appetizer, so there would be no more comps." ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! I waited over two hours to eat NOTHING and you're CHARGING ME FOR THIS? Completely unacceptable. Even my laid back friends were annoyed by this turn of events. How does the manager change his mind to the detriment of his customers AFTER telling them that he'd handle the situation?

Not impressed. At all. Mirai can choke on one of Santino's grease braids.